


Second Chances

by peacefrog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s10e12 About A Boy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 11:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3288887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacefrog/pseuds/peacefrog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A second chance, that’s what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chances

The first thing Dean does when they cross over the Kansas state line is pull the Impala off to the shoulder. It’s past midnight, Sam’s asleep in the passenger seat, and Dean tells himself he’s only stopping briefly so that he can stretch his legs.

He’s been behind the wheel for more than a day, the endless expanse of highway stretching out before him, stopping only when Baby needed a refill and to catch a couple hours in the backseat near Ogden.

He’s anxious to get home, anxious to get back to his books and his research. He never thought he’d see the day that poring over some old text for hours on end would be so high on his list of priorities. 

A second chance, that’s what he needs.

The driver side door creaks as his boots hit the pavement, his joints joining in with a cacophony of pops and groans of their own, reminders that he’s on the bad side of thirty-five and, try as he might, there’s no turning back the clock at this point.

It’s not really a conscious thing, taking his phone out as he paces down the quiet stretch of road, but before he knows it, Cas’ voice is coming through the other end of the line.

“Dean?”

“Hey.” If Dean’s being honest, he has no idea what to say, or why he even called. Or maybe he does. Maybe he does and the reason terrifies him.

“Is everything alright? Where’s Sam?”

“Yeah, Cas. Everything’s fine. We just stopped to rest. We’re almost home.” Dean leans against the cool exterior of the car, closes his eyes, inhales deep.

“Good,” is all he says in response. Dean feels like laughing and rolling his eyes all at once. He decides on doing neither.

“I just uh, I’ve been thinking.” Dean’s voice cracks. He sounds pathetic. Why is he so nervous? He scrubs his free hand over his face and considers for a moment that maybe the spell wasn’t reversed all the way and he’s going to be stuck with the nerve of an awkward fourteen year old for the rest of his life.

“I sure hope so,” Cas deadpans, but Dean knows there’s a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“About the mark, about what might happen if we can’t find a way to—”

“We’ll find a way, Dean. I won’t stop searching.” Cas is all steel resolve and Dean can't understand how he can sound so certain.

“But what if we can’t, Cas? What if I’m stuck with this fucking thing on my arm forever? I’ll become a demon again and I can't—”

“I won’t let that happen. Sam won’t let that happen.” Cas says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“But what if it’s not enough?”

“The three of us have always been enough, I believe you reminded me of that once.”

Dean laughs then, but it sounds as empty and tired as his bones feel after so many hours on the road.

“Look, Cas, even if I am stuck with this thing. If my clock is ticking down faster than any of us thought… I want you to know something.”

Cas doesn’t respond, but Dean knows he’s listening intently on the other end.

“I don’t know if I’m going to get a second chance, if I even deserve one, if I can live with this thing… But if I do, if I can... I want you around. ” His voice is breaking again. He hates how pathetic he sounds.

“Maybe we can do it different this time,” Dean continues, trying to fight off the sudden dread coiling up his spine when Cas says nothing for several moments after that seem to stretch on forever.

“Maybe we can,” Cas says, finally.

Dean doesn’t know what a second chance with Cas by his side would look like. He doesn’t know how long it would be before the world conspired to pull them apart again. But he knows that a fresh start in his mind means that Cas finally gets to stay. He finally gets to stay.

“Come home soon, man.” Dean tries to not sound like he’s pleading, but he’s pretty certain it comes across that way all the same. He doesn’t really care.

“Home?” Cas sounds genuinely confused. Dean feels the sickening lurch of guilt pooling at the very center of him realizing he’s the reason Cas has no idea what he’s even talking about.

“The bunker.” His home. Their home.

“Okay,” Cas responds softly, and it is enough.

“Okay.” Dean wishes he could see his face. Dean wishes for many things.


End file.
